At the Minimise Project, we are all about having more productive conversations about abortion. This can get detailed, and nuanced, and complicated. Sometimes, however, it’s a good idea to get back to basics, because it can happen – indeed, it happens too often – that we’re missing the most important points that make the other person’s position make any kind of sense.

It is really so very important to understand where the other person is really, honestly coming from, especially if you want to change their minds on the issue. The reason why is that if you don’t understand where someone is coming from, you won’t understand how to change their mind. I’ve blogged about this before in the context of climate scepticism. If you don’t know why the person you’re talking to is a climate-sceptic, you won’t be able to convince them otherwise.

One question I often wish I could ask of more pro-choice people is: why do you think pro-life people are pro-life? In my experience, for some reason or another, committed pro-choice people often find it very hard to believe that I, and other pro-life people, really are motivated by a belief that the unborn are babies, and it’s wrong to kill babies. Instead, pro-choice people often think, or at least behave, as though pro-life people are motivated by something else entirely. That “something else” is often (though not always) that pro-life people want to control women, or at least control women’s bodies.

If you’re a pro-choice person who believes that’s my motivation, I understand why that is. I understand it because I know enough about history to see that almost every society placed, and many still place, far more restrictions on women than they do on men. I see it in the literature I read, the history podcasts I listen to, and the blogs I follow. I see it even today in modern western countries, including from pro-life people. There are people who think women are inferior to men in at least some respects (weaker in physical strength perhaps, or intellect, or leadership capability, or even basic dignity) and therefore it is fitting and proper to place restrictions on women.

I also understand it because there are some examples in history where abortion bans were nothing to do with respecting unborn life. When Nicolae Ceaușescu became President of Romania in 1965, for example, he quickly made abortion illegal, along with contraception and sex education. Women were rounded up in the workplace and given routine pregnancy tests, and anyone who tested negative for an extended period of time had to pay extra tax. The birth rate in Romania, which had previously had one of the most liberal abortion regimes available at the time, quickly rose significantly.

However, Ceaușescu  was anything but pro-life. How do we know this? For one thing, he was quite clear that his policy was nothing to do with protecting unborn babies but rather was about boosting the birth rate: he famously declared that “Anyone who avoids having children is a deserter who abandons the laws of national continuity.”. Far more telling, however, was the fact that abortion did remain accessible under his regime for women who already had at least four children – or for high-ranking women in the Communist party.

Ceaușescu really did just want to exercise control over women’s bodies in order to further his agenda of boosting the Romanian population. The fact that his regime did, in the process, save lives from abortion does not make it a pro-life regime.

As a pro-life person, I am keenly conscious of these facts. I am so conscious of the existence, past and present, of people, cultures and regimes that were motivated by seeking to control women, including via abortion restrictions. All I can tell you, though, is that is not what motivates me.

I am a staunch advocate for autonomy and equality for women. I push back against pregnancy restrictions that are not evidence-based. The Minimise Project advocates for policies that further the equality of women and support for children and for families. I see the injustices faced by women, especially pregnant women, and I want to end them. But I also can’t bring myself to advocate for abortion, not because I actually, secretly want to control women, but because I think it ends the life of a human person.

I can blog about this forever, but you still may not believe that’s what truly motivates me. That’s ok. You don’t have to believe everything you read in a blog. But here at the Minimise Project, we’re happy to discuss this with you, anytime. It’s what we’re here for. We want to understand where you’re coming from, and we want you to understand us. I think this understanding is easiest to foster via a conversation, rather than via a blog, or an appearance in the media, or even over text, which is why I’m such a strong advocate for in-person conversations on abortion.

If you still have trouble believing that a pro-life person could be motivated by anything other than a desire to control women, would you consider having a chat with a pro-life person one-on-one? You may be surprised at what you learn.

Muireann